The Adventures Of Plump Cow – Season 2 (with special guest Swimmer Face) – Louella Lester

This is the second season in a series of graphic stories, which I photographed and wrote starting in 2015 or so.

I serialized each season of adventures by creating daily posts on Facebook.

They developed a bit of a following, haha, and I have now decided to put them together as blog posts on this website.

Enjoy Season 2!

“Oh, oh, that suitcase’s going to topple!” said Plump Cow.

Swimmer Face, though not enjoying being stuck in the trunk of a car, was tired of the cow’s whining. “Come on, there’s no point worrying about it.”

“Wow, wow, that bottle of wine keeps rolling around! That could really hurt a cow.” Plump Cow was still getting over the trauma of losing her horn in a fall, even though it had been glued back in place.

“Look, if this is how it’s going to be through the whole vacation, I might as well jump out the next time the car stops.”

“No, no,” said Plump Cow, “It’s okay I’ll shut up.” And she did, but she couldn’t help worrying. After all she’d heard Lake Winnipeg was very big.

They finally arrived at the cottage. Plump Cow clambered up the steps, but she soon realized it wasn’t as easy for Swimmer Face, who was rolling about. “It’s okay Swimmer Face, I’ll come and help you.” And she did. Once they got inside Plump Cow suggested they should go to bed early because they would need lots of energy the next day. But Swimmer Face had other ideas. What was that she spied on the table?

“That was a long trip.” Plump Cow hurried off to bathroom and Swimmer Face went for the table in one leap. She thought the bottle of wine, some silly person had left there to breathe, was just the ticket. On the way back from the washroom Plump Cow decided to check out the sun porch. As she stood there, the soft breeze and chirping crickets lulled her to sleep. 

A couple of hours later she awoke with a start. “Oh when the saints…come…maaaaarchin in…oh when the…” It was Swimmer Face. What an awful screech, thought Plump Cow, as she rushed to the kitchen and up onto the table. Swimmer Face lay there on her side next to a now empty wine glass!

In the morning Plump Cow found Swimmer Face by following the snores to a chair pushed underneath the tablecloth. She had seen TV shows where people poured coffee down drunk friends’ gullets, but Plump Cow didn’t know how to make coffee. She was a good cow, but she was starting to get a bit irritated with her friend. 

She shook Swimmer Face awake. “Come on, we’re here to enjoy the beach. Do you want breakfast before we head off? I plan to graze as we go.” Swimmer Face gagged and said she didn’t want any breakfast!

Once they were out on the steps and could see the lake across the road Plump Cow went back to her normal happy cow self. Swimmer Face on the other hand, was not so happy. The sun caused her to wince and she leaned against Plump Cow. “I think I’m going to be sick.”

Down the steps they went. “This way,” said Plump Cow, “we don’t want to mess up the yard.”

“What is that?” asked Swimmer Face.

“It’s an outhouse, a toilet, you know?”

“Oh, I’ve heard about those things. I’m not taking the risk of rolling into the hole! I’ll just go into the grass over there.” And she did.

After that she felt better, ready to face the day.

They were on their way to the beach when a truck came rumbling down the road. “Holy!” yelled Swimmer Face. “Slow down, eh! Watch where you’re going.” 

“That was close,” said Plump Cow. “we better stick to the edge of the road.”

“Yes! Look there’s a path to the beach.” Swimmer Face rolled ahead. “Whoopee!”

“Wow, look at the lovely sand!” said Swimmer Face. 

Before Plump Cow knew it Swimmer Face was doing cartwheels down the little hill. “Wait, be careful, you could roll right into the water!”

Plump Cow ran past Swimmer Face and stopped in front of her, wanting to save her friend from cartwheeling right into the water. Swimmer Face bumped into her and they both flew into the air, then landed on a virgin stretch of the beach. “Ohhh, this is lovely,” she sighed.

The wind was blowing across the water as the two friends made their way across the beach. “Oh, look at how the water comes up on the sand with each wave.” She hoofed it towards the water’s edge, but a strong gust sent the water’s edge higher onto the beach than expected. It only wet Plump Cow’s hoofs, but Swimmer Face saw an even larger wave moving towards her little friend. At that moment she realized how much Plump Cow meant to her.

“This is so much fun,” Plump Cow said splashing about in the water, unaware of the huge wave looming in the distance.

Swimmer Face wheeled over and pushed Plump Cow with all her might. The cow flew into the air and landed smack dab into a hole some small animal had burrowed between the tree roots in the sand cliff running along the beach.

Swimmer Face, who just managed to avoid the wave, lay below the cliff laughing.

“Mmmm, elp mmmmee,” said Plump Cow.

“Okay,” said PlumpCow, once she managed to kick her way out of the cliff hole, “let’s stay away from the water.” She shook some sand out of her ears and flicked a large beetle off her leg. With as much dignity as she could muster she walk across the sand sticking to the dry side of the beach. Swimmer Face quietly followed her, letting go of a tiny giggle every so often.

They reached an area of the beach where there were a number of sailboats perched far from the water and they came upon a fence. “I wonder what’s in here? asked Plump Cow.

“Let’s burrow under and see,” said Swimmer Face.

“No, let’s not,” Plump Cow said, turning her head sideways to knock more sand out of her ear.

Swimmer Face gradually moved closer to the water’s edge as they walked down the beach and Plump Cow followed without realizing until the sand changed colour. “Why is the sand green?” she asked. 

Swimmer Face said, “I read about that stuff. It’s called algae and comes from dumping bad stuff into the water system. And that’s also yucky, a cigarette butt! Those humans really need to smarten up.”

They moved along, but had to stop when they saw something much more sinister.

“What are those?” Plump Cow shivered and jumped back a bit?

“Shhhhh, not so loud. Let’s get outta here, those are a dog’s footprints!”

The friends ran from the beach, but it was a mistake. 

“Oh, oh,” whispered Swimmer Face, “don’t move. He doesn’t look like he’s too smart, maybe he won’t notice us.”

Plump Cow’s heart was almost beating its way out of her chest. “What if he pees on us?”

“Shhhhh!”

The dog sniffed and whined a little, then he took off. The friends took off too, but in the opposite direction.

Now that the dog was gone they could set about enjoying the sunny day again. Around a bend in the lane they came across a long manmade road thingy sticking out into the lake.

“Wow! What is this?” asked Plump Cow.

“I think they call it a pier. Boats can dock alongside it.” 

“How do you know all of this stuff, Swimmer Face?”

“Well, I didn’t spend all those years hanging out on a bookcase for nothing, Cow. Come on let’s go see what those people are doing out there at the end of this pier.”

“What’s he doing with that stick?” Plump Cow whispered.

“He’s fishing. Some people like eating fish.”

“Eeew, fish stink! Why would anyone want to eat them?” This time Plump Cow forgot to whisper.

“Keep your voice down,” Swimmer Face hissed. 

But it was too late, they had been heard and seen. Whoosh! A net dropped over them.

“Gee whiz, Cow. Now look what you’ve got us into?”

Eventually they managed to escape through a small hole in the side of the net. They ran back to the beach and rested on a log to catch their breath. 

“Did you use sunscreen?” asked Plump Cow. 

But Swimmer Face wasn’t talking to Plump Cow.

Things were pretty tense, so Plump Cow  decided to let her friend have some space. She wandered about picking flowers and berries. On her way back she saw Swimmer Face sitting in the stands near the baseball field. She hopped up and  dropped some berries on the wood bench and held out a bunch of flowers. “Sorry,” they both said at the same time.

The buddies spent the rest of the day relaxing on the beach, chatting and giggling, making sure to reapply the sunscreen regularly.

The next morning it was time to go home. They hid near the car wheel waiting for their chance to hide in the back. “I sure hope nobody suddenly decides to move the car,” said Swimmer Face.

Suddenly the wheel started to roll backwards. “Oh no!” shouted Plump Cow.

Swimmer Face spun around and swooped Plump Cow upwards, they flew through the air and landed in the car.

“Whew,” both said, then they snuggled in among the luggage. 

All the way home to the city, Plump Cow daydreamed about her exciting vacation with Swimmer Face. It was an experience she would never forget.

The end.

My book, Glass Bricks, is available through your local bookstores, on Amazon (paperback/digital), or from my publisher at https://atbaypress.com/books/detail/glass-bricks.

If you go to the Published Writing & Photos page (in this blog menu) you can find out more about Glass Bricks. You can also find links to my other published writing and photos.